When Do High Standards Become Harmful?

Striving for competence and achievement is something we should all do. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be your best or having high expectations for yourself. However, there’s a fine line between high competency and perfectionism.

You might not think perfectionism is a negative thing. After all, what’s wrong with wanting to be the best? Unfortunately, perfectionism often comes with unrealistic expectations, heavy demands, and overly critical self-talk.

These characteristics can lead to mental health issues that cause low self-esteem, stress, and even the potential for conditions like anxiety or depression.

So, how can you walk that line healthily?

Worry, Stress, and Anxiety

The constant need for perfectionism creates an internal pressure that makes relaxing nearly impossible. You may find yourself in a state of worry almost all the time, which can cause additional stress on your mind and body. Not only can the constant worry lead to anxiety, but it can take a toll on your physical well-being, too. It’s not uncommon for perfectionists to deal with digestive issues, headaches, and muscle tension.

Self-Esteem Issues

No matter how hard you try, perfectionist thoughts can make it difficult for you to ever see yourself as “good enough.”

When you fail to meet the impossible standards you set for yourself, you’re likely to experience feelings of low self-worth and disappointment. That constant self-criticism can wreak havoc on your mental well-being, potentially leading to depression.

Depression can make you feel hopeless about the present and future. When you’re looking at yourself through a negative lens, you might start to assume that you’re worthless and there’s no point in even considering a happy, healthy future. Those are scary, dangerous thoughts to have, which is why perfectionism needs to be taken seriously.

Burnout

No matter how much you want to get done to keep up with your unrealistic expectations, you’re only human. It’s not uncommon for perfectionism to lead to burnout, especially in your career and personal life.

Burnout can make you feel physically and mentally exhausted. Again, it can lead to feelings of hopelessness and trigger symptoms of depression.

If you’re on the verge of burnout, you might find that you’re struggling with procrastination and motivation. The fear of not doing things perfectly might be weighing on you more than ever, so you don’t start things. Unfortunately, when you fail to meet deadlines or get things done the way you want, that will only bolster your negative self-talk and create a harmful cycle fueled by low self-esteem.

Addressing Competency and Perfectionism

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do your best or even having high standards for yourself but when those standards become impossible to meet, and you’re criticizing yourself constantly, it’s a red flag.

Start by setting realistic goals for yourself. Break them down into smaller, achievable pieces so you’ll feel accomplished and motivated to continue after each one. Challenge your negative self-talk by focusing on your strengths and the things that make you unique. Practice self-care and compassion, and treat yourself the way you would a beloved friend.

Finally, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Counseling or therapy can help you address the underlying issues that could be contributing to your perfectionism. You’ll also learn healthy ways of coping with your symptoms so you can eventually see yourself in a more positive light and let go of your unrealistic expectations. If you’re ready to take that step, don’t hesitate to contact our office today!