I’m Excited To Get Married, So Why Am I Anxious?
It’s not uncommon for people to have “wedding day jitters” or even experience a case of cold feet before they walk down the aisle. However, there’s a difference between feelings of butterflies or nerves and actual anxiety over getting married.
You might be quick to criticize yourself if you’re feeling anxious. You know you’re excited about getting married, so where are those anxious feelings coming from? Do they mean anything? Most importantly, what can you do about them?
Marriage Is a Major Life Change
It’s easy to get caught up in wedding planning and preparing for the big day. However, when you get a moment or two to think about your actual marriage, it can be a little overwhelming.
Marriage is one of the most significant transitions you’ll experience in life. Even if you already share a home with your partner, the dynamic can shift in unexpected ways. While this change is often exciting and positive, it can also stir up uncertainty and overthinking, sometimes leading to anxiety. These feelings may be even more intense if you haven’t lived together before.
The “What Ifs” Take Over
Along with recognizing that life will probably shift after marriage, you may find yourself wondering what the future holds. Weddings are full of excitement, but marriage takes effort. That doesn’t mean it won’t be filled with meaningful, joyful moments—in fact, there will likely be far more good times than difficult ones. Still, challenges like disagreements, compromises, and hardships are part of the journey. As your big day approaches, all those “what if” thoughts can rush in at once, making everything feel more overwhelming and intimidating than it truly is.
It’s the work and effort you put into a marriage that makes it so great, so don’t let those hypothetical situations drag you down.
Social Pressures
When you’re about to get married, you’re likely going to hear a lot of advice and opinions from people in your life. Family members and friends might mean well when they tell you what to do and expect but don’t feel like you have to listen to every piece of advice.
Also, try not to fall into so-called “traditional” pressures or stereotypes surrounding marriage. Holding yourself, your partner, or your relationship to unrealistic standards can lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction for both of you. Chasing perfection can also fuel anxiety well before your wedding day even arrives.
How Can You Deal With Marriage Anxiety?
Remind yourself that it’s completely normal to feel anxious before getting married. No matter how happy you are in your relationship or how sure you are about spending forever with your partner, these feelings are okay!
What’s causing you to feel stressed, overwhelmed, or even worried? Do what you can to get to the root cause of your anxiety. When you’re able to get to the underlying cause, don’t hesitate to talk to your partner about it. Opening up about your feelings, even negative ones, is a great way to start your marriage off on the right foot by prioritizing communication.
If you’re struggling with wedding-related anxiety, therapy can help. At Forward Together Counseling, our couples therapists specialize in premarital counseling and are here to support you and your partner as you prepare for a successful start to this new chapter of your lives together. Many couples start seeing improvement in their relationship within a few sessions. If you’re considering therapy, the next step is reaching out to our practice to be matched with a couples counselor.